The Chaste Heart

When our sexual desire is ordered rightly, it’s transformed away from lust toward chastity. Chastity in its fullest and richest sense is not abstinence. It’s not a retreat from the desire at all. The chaste person has learned to be with their spouse without using them. That doesn’t mean they stop wanting pleasure. No. It means, they’re training with the Spirit to stop getting pleasure at the expense of their spouse, they’re training to live in a submission that is mutual and free. The more this virtue grows in their soul, the more their getting becomes giving. And here’s something wonderful—a pleasure paradox—the more we take the focus off our own pleasure, the more it deepens. Yes, the chaste heart elevates and celebrates sex; it nurtures a well-ordered sensuality, strengthening connection, intensifying intimacy, and merging two lives into one—creating a living image of our future union with God.