In his book The Four Loves, C. S. Lewis explores four different kinds of love in Greek thought: affectionate love (storge), friendship love (philia), romantic love (eros), and selfless love(agape).1
Selfless love, more than any of the others, characterizes God’s kind of love. Selfless love is what the old writers called “charity,” which is passionately committed to the well-being of others, even at the expense of itself.
Wherever we find charity, we can be sure there is a determined, dogged will behind it. Rather than someone just wanting or hoping or wishing for another person’s good, charity is someone willing it - someone stopping on the side of the freeway to hold an umbrella while a tire is being changed, someone setting down a book to play hide-and-seek with a four-year-old, someone who will not just pray but be the answer to what they pray for.
Room to Reflect
Which of the four kinds of love - storge, philia, eros, or agape - do you most easily express in your relationships? Which feels most challenging?
How does understanding agape as “a determined, dogged will” reshape the way you think about God’s love toward you?
What is one small, concrete way you could embody selfless love this week - perhaps through time, attention, or sacrifice?
Lewis, C. S.. The Four Loves. United States: HarperOne, 2017.