A Note from Me
When I look at my life with God, I notice how easy it is for me to put too much emphasis on spiritual practices. To be fair, practices matter. They’re one of the surest ways I know to participate in grace. So I fast, I pray, I read, I give. And the more I do, the more transformed I’ll become—I think.
But I know that’s not how it works.
Practices don’t transform me. Grace does. At best, the practices open me up to receive grace. But transformation is always God’s perogative.
And the transformation I long for isn’t just the shedding of a stubborn vice I’d rather say goodbye to, as lovely as that would be. It’s something more, something deeper. I need freedom from the pride that keeps whispering: “My performance is the decisive factor in my transformation.” That’s a deep wound within me that needs healing. And the name for that slow recovery is humility.
Humility is not something I can practice into being. It’s not habit formation or skill acquisition. It’s the Spirit’s work. It can be given to us through spiritual practice, yes, but it also can also come through trusting during affliction, or resisting in temptation, or even failing at all of that and recognizing my deep need for grace.
The saints remind me that this has always been a disciple’s pitfall—to exaggerate the effectiveness of their spiritual practice, as if it was decisive. Practices are essential, yes, but not decisive.
Only grace transforms.
A Voice from the Christian Tradition
Amma Theodora, an Egyptian Desert Mother one said:
“…neither asceticism (practices of self-denial), nor vigils nor any kind of suffering are able to save, only true humility can do that. There was an anchorite who was able to banish the demons; and asked them,“What makes you go away? Is it fasting?”They replied, “We do not eat or drink.”“Is it vigils?” They replied, “We do not sleep.”“Is it separation from the world?” “We live in the deserts.”“What power sends you away then?”They said, “Nothing can overcome us, but only humility.”“Do you see how humility is victorious over the demons?”—The Forgotten Desert Mothers
A Question to Carry
Do you ever mistake effort or performance for grace in your life with God? If so, where?
Learning humility,
—Jon
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